On Choosing Grace.
A few months ago, something I did not think could happen, happened to me, I was kicked out of my apartment and forced to go live with my brothers. I had a roommate who betrayed me and caused this to happen. It al happened very fast. I showed up to my brothers apartment and I have been living with them ever since. It feels good to come home and be with family, initially I had thought, what did I do so bad to deserve this. I now have to cook and clean all the time, while they do what ever they want. Of course they help out with things, like throwing away the garbage, but it still is quite a lot, for someone who works and is a student.
A few weeks ago, I got into a heated argument with one of them, m younger brother, and the bad thing about being me is that I am very blunt and I say hurtful things when I am upset, just to get at people, or to get them off my back. I really prefer not to talk to anyone when I am not in the mood, it can be hard living with people who do not just get things as you want them to, or in other words they do not think like you. My younger brother always has to constantly be told to do stuff over and over again, I do not know where the information goes most of the time. It upsets me to have to say the same things over and over again, especially to adults. Long story short, after that argument another happened and it was worse than the first, I quickly realized that I was not really mad at my brother, I was mad at what I was going through which was dating a guy who was toxic to me, and I took it off on my brother, to be fair my brother is Leo, and can be very spiteful when he is not getting enough attention. I took time to understand what this all meant.
A lot of the times people will go through a lot, sometimes it is others putting pressure on them and they take it out on the people who did nothing to them, sometimes their own loves ones. I recently watched “Angel Eyes” starring Jenifer Lopez, and that can be used as an example, where her father was constantly beating on her mom because of things that were happening to him, things that she did not do to him, he was taking his anger out on her. I had boyfriend who did this to me because he had someone who was treating him badly, I however chose not to deal with it because I was nothing but loving and caring towards him and I deserved better, and we are not married. So many people know of others in this situation, people are not very logical and are more emotional and let that take control of them which often leads to disaster.
On choosing grace, I chose to evaluate myself and see what I was doing wrong, by figuring out what the real problem was, and that was the way I was being treated by someone that I loved and cared about, who did not feel the same way, or was letting his emotions get the better of him either way, most times choosing to let me go and still offering up grace and love in prayer for them can make a huge difference. Letting people stay in your life when all they are doing is hurting you, especially when that commitment was not made in the first place (marriage), is only hurting yourself, which will lead to you having to do more to heal later on. Understanding people is something I am very good at, I love reading, culture and history which aid a lot in that. In the world we live in today, we are exposed to so much poison, information that we put into our heads, people lose their moral traditional values especially in the western world. I think it is important to sit back in solitude from time to time and remember where one has come from, for if one does not know this, they do not know where they are headed. Extending grace instead of any other negative is the best way to live, and always remembering to think positive, for negative thoughts are very quick to consume you, which in turn affects the people around you and at large the world. We are all connected on some way, and the more positive our thoughts and actions, the better it is for everyone living.
Thanks for reading, and as always, remain kind, ;).
